Leading Challenging People
Challenging people - as leaders, we have all had to deal with them at some point, right? You know exactly who they are. He’s the team member that always has a chip on his shoulder. She’s the colleague that is always right and has all the answers. Or the employee that is consistent with complaints, but poor with performance. Or the one that still has yet to learn how to respectfully communicate with other people.
Challenging people come in all “shapes and sizes”, and their actions can, at times, challenge your character, test your internal fortitude, and test your temper. There is no way to escape encounters with challenging people at some juncture, no matter what arena you work in. And sometimes, some of those challenging people are the most productive in your organization or business. Therefore, it is imperative that leaders understand how to deal with those that are not the easiest colleagues, employees, team members, or the like.
HOW DO I
LEAD A DIFFICULT
PERSON?
Some leaders may elect to go the simple route and find ways to avoid interactions by throwing the difficult person off on another leader. Others may dismiss that difficult person from the organization altogether. While these options may be easy outs, they are not always the wisest or most effective moves for the leader or the organization.
Avoidance only irritates and exacerbates the situation. The person will continue to behave or perform in the same manner due to the leader failing to address or confront the issue with honesty and transparency. Not only does this continually allow the aggravation to continue, but it also has a negative effect on your organization. A rotten apple goes unattended and eventually begins to rot the rest.
Dismissal from a position or organization completely is definitely necessary in some situations. However, if you never learn how to lead and deal with difficult or challenging people, you will be firing people constantly. This will affect your turnover rate which, in turn, negatively affects the morale and culture of your company; consequently, attracting high quality personnel to your organization or business will end up being difficult for you. So, what do you do? How do you lead the person without losing your dignity or sanity? How do you strike a balance between standing your ground and providing a fair opportunity for change and improvement?
Build the Relationship
The first step to take in leading a challenging person is to build a relationship. This does not mean you are trying to make a new BFF. It simply means you develop space to have conversation with the person and learn more about who they are. The more you learn about a person, the easier it is to find common ground, and perhaps, get a better understanding of their behaviors. Understanding gives way to developing a better approach to working with that person.
Make Sure It’s Not You
Let’s be honest…as a leader, it is so easy to determine that someone is difficult to work without looking at ourselves as the problem. I mean, after all, we are the boss, they are the minions, right? WRONG! In reality, we may be the problem. It is imperative that as a leader, you self-reflect on your actions, behaviors, biases, and perceptions. Double check to make sure that the issue does not reside with you. Make sure you are not just upset that the person is constructively challenging some of your ideas with better ones. While you may be the decision-maker, there still has to be room left for those you lead to share and contribute ideas that may be different than yours…and sometimes BETTER than yours.
Share your “WHY”
There are some situations in which the challenging person may need to understand the “why” behind the “what”. It does not excuse insubordinate behavior at all. But, it will make it easier to lead the person and have them buy-in to what is being asked of them. The '“do it because I said so” approach does not work! It only causes friction and resentment from those you lead. Do not hesitate to sit down with the challenging person and explain to them why you made a particular decision or asked them to perform a particular task. Or perhaps you need to explain to them why their attitude and behavior does not work for your place of business.
As a leader, it can be frustrating and seem like it’s not worth your time to make extra efforts to work with challenging people. But, it becomes worth it when your turnover is low, your morale is high, and your workforce is stable. If by chance nothing works with this person, FIRE THEM! (Just kidding…but not really:)